The Road To Come
by hath57
Summary: A series of oneshots, all genres. Destiel, Sabriel. 3: Crowley and Lucifer have a fight in hell- who's the best Devil? Later Lemons, but I'm keeping it T because the majority will be T, and I'll warn you in advance when the Ms are coming.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Dean unwittingly agrees to accompany Gabriel and Balthazaar to a strip club. Post-S7, resurrected!Gabriel, resurrected!Balthazaar**

**Pairing: Gabriel/Dean/Balthazaar, hints of Destiel and Sabriel.**

"No." Dean said firmly.

"Oh, come on!" Gabriel moaned. "Don't you get bored with your normal life?"

"Hunting Demons? Oh yeah, it's a real bore." Dean narrowed his eyes. "There is no way I am going to a strip club with you-…" Dean pointed at Gabriel, who was wearing his customary smirk. "And you." Dean pointed at Balthazaar.

"Dean, however much I may agree with you, I think it might be in our best interests for you to agree" Castiel interjected.

"Seriously?" Dean was dumbfounded. "Cass, you're siding with _them_?"

"If you don't go, they'll just persist, and become a constant annoyance."

"You should listen to Cassie." Balthazaar smirked.

"You should listen to my ass." Dean said angrily.

"Assbutt." Castiel agreed, and Dean couldn't help a snort. "Dean…"

"Fine. I'll do it." Dean waved him off.

"Really?" Gabriel shrieked with joy.

"Yeah, sure." Dean grumbled. "At least it'll get you to shut up."

"Well, let's go then." Balthazaar grinned.

"It's 11AM, Balthazaro Wars." Dean reminded him.

"Not in England." Balthazaar smirked, and grabbing both Dean and Gabriel's hands, the three arrived in a strip club in the middle of Cardiff.

**-SPN-**

Dean finally managed to tune out Gabriel and Balthazaar, focusing on the sensual sways of the woman above him. However, he couldn't help a few grumbles when he glanced at Gabriel chatting up some off-stage woman.

Of course, then had to be the time Balthazaar strolled over to him, grinning.

"This is nice, isn't it, Deany?" Balthazaar rolled the words around on his tongue, quite clearly starting to become drunk.

"Call me 'Deany' again and I'll rip out your spine." Dean grumbled, trying desperately to focus his attention on the woman, but Balthazaar's grin that made Dean want to punch him made that difficult.

"Surely it'd be the other way round, considering I'm the Angel and you're the… you." Balthazaar smirked drunkenly.

"I have an angel blade, bub." Dean hissed through gritted teeth.

"So do I, bub." Balthazaar mimicked.

"Whatever, Shitazaar." Dean snapped, gulping down a beer. "Why did I ever agree to this." Dean grumbled.

"Because your boyfriend suggested it." Balthazaar grinned.

"He's not my boyfriend." Dean insisted, cheeks flushing red.

"Then how come you share a more 'profound bond'?"

"That just means Cass was meant to get me back from hell."

"Sure. Absolutely _no _romantic subtexts." Balthazaar smirked again.

"We're not in love." Dean repeated, more for his benefit than Balthazaar's.

"It's okay, it appears all the angels have humans in this business!" Balthazaar slurred.

"What?" Dean asked moodily.

"Well, Cass loves you, Gabriel has the hots for Sam…"

"What?" Dean exclaimed, now more sober than he'd ever been.

"Oh yeah, Gabriel has a massive crush on your brother."

"Since when?" Dean asked disbelievingly.

"Since Gabriel made Sam dress up in a doctor's uniform when you were stuck in those fake worlds or sommit or other that Gabriel made up." Balthazaar waved his hand around aimlessly.

"So, Gabriel…"

"Wants to snog your baby brother? Yes." Balthazaar's smirk grew even wider.

There was about a minute of uncomfortable silence between the angel and Dean.

"Ew." Was all Dean said.

"You said it." Balthazaar agreed, slurping down his drink.

"Hey!" Gabriel shouted over randy burlesque style music. "What're you talkin' 'bout?" Gabriel slurred.

"Nothing." Dean grinned.

"What do you want to do to Sam?" Balthazaar asked, and Dean burst out laughing, not noticing the woman above frown at him.

"You… _bastard_." Gabriel growled, heat rising up to his cheeks.

"Hey, it's fine, Gabe." Balthazaar assured him. "Cass and Dean have the hots for eachother, it's fine."

"We. Do. Not. Love. Eachother." Dean said angrily.

"Oh, admit it!" Gabriel exclaimed.

"Not you too." Dean moaned.

"Seriously? First question you thought when you arrived in TV land- 'Where's Cass'? Yeah, I read your mind."

"Stay out of my head." Dean glared.

"Can we just enjoy the dancers?" Balthazaar asked.

"Hell no man, I only fantasize about Sam." Gabriel slurred. "I only came here to make a socially awkward sibuatiom."

"You mean 'situation'." Balthazaar corrected.

"Really? What did I say?" Gabriel asked.

"Sibuatiom." Balthazaar and Gabriel laughed, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, Dean wouldn't enjoy it considering he can't stop thinking about Cassie now." Gabriel smirked.

"Ugh." Dean moaned.

"But then again, you've never stopped thinking about Cass." Balthazaar pointed out.

"Can we go before I break someone's eye?" Dean growled.

"Sure man. Let's go." Gabriel smirked, before Dean's eyes nearly burst out of their sockets when they arrived in a room full of scantily clad men, with the song 'I Want To Take You To A Gay Bar' playing in the background.

"I hate you." Dean shouted over the music.

"I know." Gabriel grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, faves etc! :D**

**I've decided to upload one everyday (if I can, it might only be like this for a while)**

**Summary: How Season Seven could end- seeing as we know it's gonna have a cliffhanger. **

**Pairings: None**

Sam and Dean watched helplessly as Castiel was thrown across the room by Dick Roman, who was grinning evilly.

"It's too late." Dick snarled. "Now we can feast on this pla-…" Dick was cut off by the door to the room being swung open, a bright light emanating from outside. Dick, Sam, Dean and Castiel covered their eyes, Bobby spluttering into the room behind them while they turned, before also averting his eyes.

When the lights subsided, the Winchesters' eyes grew wide.

"Chuck?" Dean asked, jaw dropped.

"Tsk, tsk." Chuck tutted as he entered the room, wearing pale white robes. "I go for a few months to help fix certain things, and the Leviathans get out?"

"It was the angel who let us out…" Dick began.

"I know. It was him I was helping to fix. Did you not think I knew what Castiel had done?" Chuck scowled. "Castiel isn't the only fallen soul I've brought back from the dead. Gabriel, Balthazaar… The list is endless."

"Sir, please…" Dick was showing full scale horror, backing up into a pillar.

"Time to send you vermin back into purgatory." Chuck snarled, and with that, Dick vanished, his screams emenating through the room, followed by the other Leviathans. Before they knew it, the Leviathans were all gone.

"Chuck… How?" Dean asked.

"You brought me back." Castiel stated rather than asked.

"Yes, I did. And Chuck is… a name I donned for my time watching over this world. My favourite world as it might happen." Chuck remarked.

"Oh my…" Dean began.

"…God?" Chuck finished, and laughed bitterly. "Yes, I suppose that fits. I am God. And I've been watching this whole time."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Crowley and Lucifer have a fight in hell- who's the best Devil?**

**Pairing: Crowlifer (or Lucley)**

Crowley whistled as he strolled over to Lucifer and Michael's cage, sighing in relief when everything was normal… for once. Normally, Lucifer and Michael would argue or be shouting abuse at other cells… But today, they were just calm. Michael was asleep, and Lucifer was sitting calmly in the corner of the cage.

"Hello, Luci. Calm for once, eh? Losing your touch?" Crowley teased, but was caught off guard when Lucifer ran to him and grabbed his coat, pulling him towards the cage bars.

"Don't ever think I've 'lost my touch', Crowley." Lucifer snarled, before pushing him backwards, Crowley's mouth open in awe.

"Yes… well…" Crowley mumbled, before regaining his cool composure. "I opened Purgatory." Crowley lied.

"Tried to. From what I heard, Castiel opened it."

"I helped stop the apocalypse."

"Barely. Wheras I _was _the apocalypse."

"I control hell."

"I _am _hell."

"Are we seriously having a fight over who's the best devil?" Crowley asked, eyebrows raised.

"It appears so. I got Sam Winchester to say yes." Lucifer countered.

"I-…" Crowley began.

"If you don't shut up now, I swear I'll throw as many things as I can at your heads. This is the first time I've been asleep in ages, and I sure as hell…" Crowley smirked at that. "…Am not gonna give it up so you two can have a bitchfight."

"Such language…" Crowley teased, and tutted as a shoe was thrown at the cage bars.


End file.
